Those involved are to feel zero emotion to avoid attachment.
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They think communicating is bad, because it could lead to feeling, which is completely against the rules. Hooking up often involves alcohol.
Many students said that without alcohol, nobody would ever get together. When asked about their attitudes concerning hookups, 41 percent said they were profoundly unhappy. Another 23 percent expressed ambivalence about their feelings toward the experience, and 36 percent said they were more or less fine with it.
Many students said that hookups were efficient because they were really busy, over-scheduled and always on the go. Yet when Freitas asked students about dating, both men and women said that nobody dates on campus, but that they wished they would.
In reality, many respondents said if someone would ask them out on a date they would go. There was much interest in dating, but the students felt like they couldn't date. Additionally, Freitas said there was so much yearning for romance and a connection of knowing and being known.
So what is the response to the hookup culture? For a long time I thought this was only gay people until Tindr came along and I realized we were all doing it. Half of us are tripping over ourselves for a solid committed relationship yet we cheapen our encounters. Either because we feel like we should be having sex all the time or porn has made us numb to actually feeling it. This sort of laissez-faire way of engaging with other human beings is going to catch up to us eventually.
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You know you let your body take control of your mind. You know that even though society and friends and culture is telling you to have as much sex as possible, something feels completely off-balance. Swipe anxiety aside, people are still meeting each other through the usual means — bars, parties, and friends of friends.
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And, of course, totally randomly. We hooked up to the same playlist each time, which gave the whole experience a reassuring familiarity. But it was fulfilling. Our movements made my bed move. There was an intimacy in it. We tried to be good to each other. In the rare instances aforementioned… it feels amazing!
You can make life what you want! But more often, it leaves an aftertaste that's a bit strange.
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Sometimes I get caught up in some slightly existential mild anxiety, but then I get an iced coffee and it fixes itself. I want it to feel like a sport. I want to satisfy something more intellectual. You learn a new body, you delight in a new person's actions and reactions. You get to enjoy the sudden pivot from being strangers doing solitary calculations and negotiations over a drink to strangers who are naked and comfortable and stroking each other's hair.
But is it always uncomplicated? I wondered, how did people go about navigating the intersection of sex, feelings, and other emotional dilemmas?