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There is no real pressure to make any big decisions about becoming exclusive or committing to each other as long as you are both just having fun and enjoying the chance to explore your relationship. With that said, it is not always easy to stave off thoughts of a happily monogamous future together.
Just don't let wondering about where things are going ruin where they are in the moment. There are many reasons not to do this. First of all, being gossiped about in real life is not as enjoyable as Blair Waldorf makes it seem. Second of all, if you would not want your guy telling his friends personal details about the time you spend together, you should think about that before you regale your girls with a play-by-play of your coffee date and when he kissed you afterward.
Finally, if things do not work out with the guy you have been seeing, the fewer people who knew you two were dating, the fewer will ask you about it. Listen too much to other people. Obviously, your friends have your best interests at heart. But it is also important to follow your own intuition. If a friend doesn't like your new guy but cannot give you a concrete reason, maybe take her advice with a grain of salt. Conversely, if a friend has legitimate concerns, you should take her seriously. It is easy for your judgment to get clouded when you like someone, but it is also important not to be blind to their flaws.
When you are happy in your own life and you love yourself, it is attractive to others. It is important not to lose your independence when you start dating someone. I always think about Julia Roberts' character in the classic rom-com Runaway Bride ; she has been engaged three times, and with every boyfriend, she orders her eggs the same way that each of them like them cooked. At the end of the movie, after breaking off a fourth engagement, she cooks eggs in every style imaginable, then sits down and tastes them all until she figures out her own preference.
The breakfast metaphor is cute, but the bottom line is that you need to know yourself before you can open up to someone else. Do not lose sight of who you are just because there is a new guy in your life. Carly Buchanan is a member of the class of at the George Washington University, where she is a journalism and mass communication major at the School of Media and Public Affairs.
Focus the attention on your guy, asking him more questions than you make statements about yourself.
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While sharing information about yourself is an essential part of getting to know someone, don't overdo it. This may make your guy feel like you don't care about him. Ask him questions about himself and his feelings, showing him that you're interested in him. Thinking you've found "the one" shouldn't mean that you immediately settle down and act like a middle-aged married couple. You're still young and should use the initial dating period to explore your mutual interests through fun-filled activities.
For example, set up a creative date night in which you take your guy out to play a round of mini golf before heading off to his favorite dance club. While coming up with exciting date ideas will grab his interest, keep him on the hook by also agreeing to his suggestions.
If he asks you to go rock climbing or hit balls at the batting cage, show your willingness to play and try his activities. Just because your guy is still trying to get to know you doesn't mean that you have to hold back from trying to surprise him. Get your boyfriend's interest up by catching him off guard and surprising him with flirty little treats.
If they get too touchy or swoops in for a kiss, you can say, "Hey, I really like you, but I like to take things a little bit slower," or, "I'm not quite ready for that.
Offer to pay or split the check. Or you can even pay for the whole thing yourself if you wish. Avoid playing games and keep it equal and honest. Give an honest answer of your preference. Ask questions about common interests. Take the first date as an opportunity to learn a lot of new information about your date and what you have in common.
Try asking about school, work, hobbies, TV shows, books, movies, family, etc. What did you think of the newest movie? Tell me more about what it was like to live there! You can simply ask about the music they have playing in the car, or another similar observation about your surroundings. Allow the focus to be on you for a bit and tell any funny or interesting stories you have about a topic. This is an easy way to keep the conversation going, and get your date to tell you some stories, too.
Tell me about them. Suggest a second date. Subtly suggest another date at the end of the first one if all went well. Tell your date to call or text you, or offer a suggestion of what you can do together next. Don't feel pressured to kiss on the first date, unless you feel like you want to!
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Have an exit strategy if things don't go well. Unfortunately, things don't always go quite the way we planned, and a date can take a turn for the worst — things can begin to feel uncomfortable or your date may turn out to be rude or inappropriate.
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You may be tempted to try and "stick it out" for the sake of being polite, but you absolutely don't have to. If the date didn't go very well and your date suggests extending the evening by going out for drinks or dessert, you can simply say, "Dinner was delicious, but I'm not up for drinks [or ice cream, dancing, etc. You don't have to be mean. You can say, "That's really offensive," or, "I don't think that's funny; it's actually really rude and I want you to stop," or even just, "I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now.
Ask for the check or give him money for your share of the bill and get out of there.
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Call a cab, a friend, or a parent to pick you up if you need to. If the date was fine but you're just not feeling it, it's okay to say that, too. You can say, "I really like you, but I'm definitely getting more of a 'friend' vibe. Are you feeling that, too? Don't worry that you're being rude or mean by ending a date prematurely. The most important thing is that you take care of yourself. It's totally up to you and your parents or guardians when you start dating. For many girls in the U. However, many people don't date till much later in their lives, whether that's because their parents are more strict about waiting to date, they aren't interested in anyone to date, or they simply don't want to date!