Denying that is intellectually dishonest. Some of these websites claim to empower their customers. Maybe some people use them as a transitional tool before re-entering the wider dating sphere, and hey, cool, whatever.
Good for those people. But they are just as often predatory environments where newly diagnosed men and women but usually women are bombarded with attention. Like other dating services, they can be unsafe spaces for women where harassment and coercion thrive. When you round up a vulnerable and isolated population, create a community space and fail to moderate it or protect your users, you create a dangerous environment. These folks would be better served by a support community than a dating app. STI dating services are a product of the stigma, not an empowering way out of it.
Not to mention that people with herpes are diverse.
What it’s really like to date with herpes
Having a minor skin condition in common is a shoddy foundation for a healthy relationship. I think most people who have had herpes for a few years know this too. The only people who ask me about herpes dating sites have just been diagnosed and are still daunted by the idea of disclosing—a fear I encourage them to tackle instead of pursuing these trap door dating sites.
Which leads me to my next concern: Some of them bring on consultants in the sexual health world, but only after the fact, and by and large their founders do not come from our community. These entrepreneurs may believe they have our best interests at heart, but they will never understand the stigma as well as someone who lives with it. They do not listen to the needs and opinions of this community, and they take funding and attention away from real efforts to provide treatment and testing, and to de-stigmatize sexual health.
STI dating services are almost always unethical money-grabs that prey on what seems like a potentially underserved niche market. This Silicon Valley opportunism is antithetical to real social change and progress. They reach out to me, share my posts and my talks on their social media platforms, and contact my fellow activists when I refuse to collaborate with them. You cannot say your service fights STI stigma when it relies on stigma to exist. What we need is better sex education and health care, access to therapy and more representation.
These companies are nothing but vultures, co-opting the language of activism.
Why I Will Never Support Herpes Dating Sites
Get my name outcha mouth and get off my lawn. After being in what I thought was a monogamous marriage, I discovered my then husband was a sex addict and had been cheating on me from the beginning of our relationship. I think it was brought on by stress. I started dating recently. I stopped it from progressing and told him we needed to talk. I informed him about the HSV and how I contracted it. After some texting, he informed me that he went to his doctor and had an STD panel done.
I find it ironic that some people complain that the only people on the herpes positive dating sites are HSV-2 positive, as if that were some lesser species of humans. A skin condition should not be a deal breaker.
I cook, keep a beautiful house, raised some amazing children, and quite frankly am a champ in the bedroom. I recently was diagnosed with herpes not sure when I contracted since all my last several partners came bck clean. Unfortunately, there is no cure for herpes.
Is it possible to successfully date and have relationships even though you have an incurable STI? Alexandra definitely thinks so. She and her husband Bill worked together for six years before beginning to date and were married in November I told him and cried on his shoulder. He told me that everything will be ok and that he considered me family so if there is anything I ever needed, I should call him.
MPWH | #1 Herpes Dating Site & App for HSV Singles
Alexandra says that it depends on who you are and what you want from the relationship. Or sometimes people just want to lay it all out on the table to weed out prospects. However, you do have to tell them if you are going to expose them to it. If you are ready to take your relationship to the next level then yes, you absolutely need to tell them.
The key rule for herpes sufferers seems to be behaving responsibly when it comes to making potential sexual partners aware. Alexandra goes to on to explain that for her, it all depended on what her intention was with the date. Sometimes it would be three-to-four months before disclosing. Luckily, the Internet breaks down some of the self and society-imposed barriers that come along with dating with herpes, providing a transparent medium to interact and get to know others without so much worry about ignorant judgment or responses.
The virus becomes less important and who you are as an individual, you know, your personal, quirks, likes and dislikes, are elevated. These sites provide a communal feeling, and just being on them may do wonders to increase your confidence in offline dating as well. Most importantly, niche sites designed for people with herpes streamline the process of getting over the STD-talk road bump and allow you to make real, fun, and meaningful connections with others, all while remaining both safe and honest.
So go ahead and save yourself some time in your dating life as you read on to discover the best dating sites for people with herpes. Debatably the most well-known dating site for people with STDs, Positive Singles has an impressive 1. The dating site may be so attractive to individuals because it focuses on matching you not just based on your medical condition, but based on other, more standard compatibility factors such as your interests, lifestyle preferences, and even star sign.
Beyond the non-bias matching system, Positive Singles has a host of other features some casual hookup site. Positive Singles provides both transparency and privacy, with highlights such as the ability to see who has viewed your profile, the option to browse anonymously, detailed privacy settings that allow you to hide your profile based on a specific set of rules you create, a setting to hide areas of your profile including the type of STD you have , and even the option to require a special password to open the app on your mobile phone. Learn more at Positive Singles. Read our full Positive Singles Review.