This is our vow, and because of it we feel like whatever circumstances arise, we are able to be more conscious, more intimate with what is sacred both for us as individuals and for us as a couple. So back to this idea of how to find a partner in the singles market. If we look at a strategy from the perspective of the teaching, there are some pretty obvious types of people to avoid and some pretty obvious types of people to bring into your life.
Natural Awakenings Singles | Natural Awakenings Magazine
But, I might add, these are inherently incomplete. To be sure there is cross-over from category to category, and most of us will find both healthy and unhealthy qualities in ourselves. He cheats and is manipulative, caring more for pleasure than for anything deep or real.
He may be charming, but has learned that he can always withstand the costs of the pain he inflicts. She can not be trusted because she can not trust herself. She may find a temporary sense of power and release in sleeping around since this kind of gratification is an easy way for her to numb herself temporarily from the pain of her loneliness. Unfortunately, her promiscuity and her damaged image in the eyes of others are what keep any healthy kind of relationship elusive.
His identity is built around never facing his life, thus he keeps himself trapped in shallow water.
He can never find resources of depth with which to serve himself or anyone else with the kind of authenticity he most wants. He wants to convert his partner to seeing things his way with missionary zeal. She knows how to both tease and charm, using her looks, her style of dress, her charisma and whatever else to get attention, status or gold, and as a result of her work in this arena she diminishes herself and her capacity to experience real love.
She is desperate to find comfort and release from her pain. She may find temporary solace from her pain by judging others as inferior and finds herself attracted to nearly anyone attracted to her. He is perpetually defensive and feels depleted by trying to keep his deeply held sense of inadequacy a secret.
She is afraid and therefore usually angry in overt and covert ways that often show up as guilt, darkness and desperation. He can be predatory and can unconsciously recreate the damage in himself and others that he first felt during his childhood. He loves every mirror he sees, sculpts his hair and body, and loves the way he feels in his clothes. Her image matters a great deal to her and she crafts her presentation to the world with great effort and care. His online presence is about sharing the images of himself that continually advertise what he thinks make him look like someone of value to each of his Facebook friends.
At the same time her addiction to validation and adoration creates a destructive imbalance in any connection she tries to make. On the other end of things, there are certain people to whom we should make ourselves available. She is kind and uses her words skillfully.
He is loving and recognizes the limitless gifts offered by all beings, all of the time. She is committed and strong. He is decisive and resolute. He gives to the betterment of the relationship by nurturing his own growth. She knows, and commits, to practicing giving of herself in all situations with a totality that changes lives. She recognizes her limits as well as her limitless nature. He sees that the relationship matters more than his comfort zone. He understands that accepting what the Universe is offering, and then responding appropriately, is the only option if true happiness is the goal.
She has uncovered a courage that allows for her never to diminish her integrity, her worth, her mind or her body. This fire inspires all of those around her, young and old. He is a role model to many, has traveled the world and seen life, and knows in his heart that his actions and his growth have meaning; that integrating different perspectives into his own makes him at once humble and in possession of a rare kind of power.
She resonates with what she knows to be true and never avoids meeting it no matter what the implications. She picks her sexual partners very carefully and yet her energy and her celebratory nature are contagious. He knows that all things are temporary and so is committed to living well and being upright no matter how beautiful or how awful his circumstance might be.
She has learned that to avoid anything is to cause harm. He sees that small wars of conscience keep him from building a life of substance and meaning. He knows that there is nothing as important as continually standing in the light of truth, so he does. She is a radiant expression of breathtaking beauty and power, but never uses her shine to manipulate. He can laugh at himself. She sees that pleasure comes from external things and is a temporary experience, and sees that joy is a boundless and natural expression of being when she meets her life at its deepest levels.
But let me know if you get a good answer! The hottest hookup I ever had was the first girl I went home with after learning to practice mindfulness only after a few months, too. I was so fully present, in a way that I had never thought possible pre-meditation, that everything and touch was magnified. It was amazing, to be there with her, instead of somewhere else my thoughts were taking me.
But that hookup was an outlier for the most part. I've been in a pretty serious contemplative mode for the past two and a half years. Apart from three incredible, beautiful women - each who, due to circumstance, I never actually dated and only hooked up with once - I have not really shown interest in or gone after or dated anyone.
The long contemplative period of my life is drawing to a close, however, and while I guess you could crassly call me DTF, I find that the universe does not put me in too many situations where that would be true. Like even when I go to weddings, every girl my age will already in a relationship or something.
I just accept it and go along. I am honestly at a stage in life where I can safely say I have no interest in dating, but also no interest in not-dating. I'm only interested, if that's the right word, to see where life goes, so I can be fully present when whatever does happen, happens. I still have thoughts and some longings about the third girl. I think this is because she is a similarly awakened individual, someone I could easily spend this life with, but she lives in South America, very far away. I know our paths will cross again, but it is hard to not put what we had on a pedestal.
Immediate spiritual and sexual connection. Deep conversation; surrendering to the moment; dancing for hours.
I am mostly just extremely grateful that she reminded me what my heart can do when it is open to love. Most of my friends and I think most peopel my age, late to mids, are almost imprisoned by their beliefs on dating.
Awakened dating? : awakened
Like the holy grail is going to be found on a date. They spend their best years and all their energy in the pursuit. Don't underestimate how difficult power imbalances can be in a relationship. Partners should be aware enough to perceive their own flaws and know when they are acting irrationally so they can stop it, or forgive the other partner for being irrational for any relationship to succeed. Boils down to self-awareness, honesty, and love, like everything else, I guess. I'm veering off into perpetual celibacy so that's the extent of my advice. Not a bad path either.