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That is, for whatever reasons we don't interact with certain groups offline, we also repeat this behaviour online — even though the barriers that exist in the offline aren't there online. And it's this collective behaviour that sees repeated outcomes for certain groups that constitutes as racist behaviour. On an individual level, it may seem innocent enough. But the fact that figures suggest that certain groups are missing out because of their race means we have to look at the situation more closely. When we don't acknowledge racism in our communities, we can't be too surprised to see its manifestations in our dating lives, too.

There is good news, though — many of the experts I spoke to for Date My Race talked about how we have been socialised to be attracted to certain groups, whether it's within our own race or outside of it.

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And because it's something we learn to do, we can also unlearn whatever ideas we may have about certain groups of people. Greater representation in the media could also help reduce the bad experiences people of colour have on online dating sites. Being exposed to different experiences of people from different backgrounds through film, TV and other forms of media challenges our own biases and stereotypes we may have.

Sure, stereotypes exist for a reason, and there may be some truth to them. But they're just that: Reducing large groups of people and dismissing their individuality limits what should be an enjoyable dating experience.

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It's hard enough being judged online, but to be dismissed because of your race seems rather harsh. In Australia, for example, even if I wanted to date within my own race, the probability of meeting someone in the same age group with shared values is not that great because of the small population of black Africans. But importantly, limiting myself to my own race also means that I get to miss out on the wonderful experience of meeting someone who has had a different lived experience to me, and being able to look at the world differently.

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  8. The more we interrogate our choices a bit more online, then, just maybe, love won't be too far off. ABC Life helps you navigate life's challenges and choices so you can stay on top of the things that matter to you. This particular exchange, though, was slightly different to the usual ones. Space to play or pause, M to mute, left and right arrows to seek, up and down arrows for volume.

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