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We could keep talking and working on it, and I could lower my expectations to match his interest level. I didn't want to do that. What about a guy who tells you early on he doesn't believe in marriage? Should you stick around or leave?
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If you want to get married in the near future, then if I were you I'd leave. If what you are looking for in the relationship is not the same, you will only be wasting time staying with someone who truthfully told you what he wants to not get married at the beginning of the relationship. Even if he has valid reasons to support his position.
After my divorce, I believe that if two people want to be together, they will work to stay together without being married. But I also remember why I got married in the first place. If I meet a guy who wants something different, than it is a waste of his time and mine. It is possible that either party may be convinced to believe otherwise, but that takes time and high compatibility in most other aspects. Do you have that much time? Anonymous on January 26, at 3: Leave skid marks on your tires and barrel straight through the window if you have to.
I've been married over 25 years. This comment has been removed by the author. Hi Andrew, I was wondering, what other reasons would a guy be interested in a girl for? For example, if a guy flakes on a girl a few times when making casual plans but still explains why he did and takes the time to call her almost daily as opposed to just texting.
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What could this mean? The only women who age badly are the ones who.. Beyond that I see so many attractive women in their 30's in real life and in the media.
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And if you take care of yourself very well on top of that, it obviously helps even more. At 31 I can't even keep track of how many men are hitting on me anymore. Every time I go outside I am getting hit on, and many men have been pursuing me. I'm fading out men everyday, and remaining open to meeting new ones, and honestly this feels the most productive right now. I wasted some time serial dating, and am now trying out something new, which is just being open to talking with new men, and allowing rotations for longer than usual.
Normally, I start becoming monogamous with one guy pretty quickly. But I now realize this was always premature because I wanted the benefits of a relationship without taking the time to find the right person. All women are hitting the decline at 26, regardless of race. Extra melatonin just reduces the external appearance of it. A man who can form a successful lifetime bond with a young fertile woman will produce MANY children over his lifetime. Better yet, the odds of his children surviving and then successfully reproducing themselves will also be increased significantly.
The fact that she is good looking is icing on the cake. Enjoying casual sex with 26 year old women on a one-off basis is good if you can get it but it only works for some and the cost of failure is quite high. That is how natural selection works. Humans rely on the K factor as much as the R factor. Retarded considering most women now have their first child in their late twenties to early thirties. Women should be told that they benefit most from ignoring education and carer, having children at 22, and then go for education and carer at That way, they won't need to take a break in the career just when they are about to get into the flow, and they get to have the children while their body is best suited for it.
As an added benefit, they won't need to start panicking about becoming spinsters, nor to hide their sluty past for their husband, nor becoming jaded. Instead, they got everything done, nice and tidy, at the ripe age of Raising kids is a lifetime obligation. A lot of women I see who have children are stuck with them, and there is no way they can pursue a full time career now.
They have one real shot at it, and once they have kids, until those kids are much older, that's it. We are not on this earth to be a baby making machine for men. We are people who have our own desires, and wishes in life.
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Also, studies show that college-educated women, and women who have advanced degrees are more likely to actually stay married, and are happier in their marriages: I agree with you Janey. As well as that, I wouldn't want to bring a child in an environment where both me and the child would have to suffer too much financially. Also I am so much more confident and well equipped in knowledge now. At least those are my thoughts.. Perhaps it is indicative somewhat of the average female. But I am 31 and for example, a few months ago I had a 22 year old hit on me who was scared that I wasn't even legal.
I would say a good deal of variation can exist depending on the individual.
Turning 27 in a few months: Hi Andrew, one of your posts says that women in their 20's should consider men years older than them for marriage and ltr, but what about single women in their late 20's to early 30's looking to marry? I find that single men years older than the late 20's-early 30's women sometimes consider them to be too old; so when these women are looking for partner, how much older should they generally consider? Do you mean that men in their mid thirties consider women in their late twenties and early thirties to be too old? While I can see how they might consider women in their early thirties to be "too old," I would be surprised if they felt this way about women in their late twenties.
Perhaps you are summarizing the opinions of male bloggers more than the opinions of "real" men. In any case, assuming you are right, my suggestion would be to instead look for men in their late thirties, or hone your game for the select few in their early- or mid-thirties who ARE interested in you I don't believe there are NONE. Keep an eye out for the post about female game for women in their thirties, it is virtually finished and will be posted soon. A 23 year old is essentially not as perfect as she was when she was 17, however good she still looks in comparison with most women, therefore by definition she cannot be a That is ridiculous, at 17 I still looked like a child.
I don't see how that could be attractive to a mature man unless he's a pedo. I think there is legitimate room for men - even men at 30 years old - to be attracted to women under But to say it is the norm, or that a woman at 17 is categorically at her peak is absurd. How long do you think a woman should wait for a college boyfriend to propose?
However, the lines are blurry when I've been with my boyfriend for three years in college but obviously I don't expect him to propose the minute we graduate even more complicated that he will be in grad school the next few years. However, what I don't want to happen is I stay with him throughout my prime 21 now , he graduates from grad school in a few years, gets a good job, and dumps for me for someone younger. He's given me no reason to think he would do such a thing and he frequently SAYS he wants to marry me but still better safe than sorry.
Honestly if I come right out with an age, I think he would comply. But I don't him to feel pressured into it. How do you give a man a time frame without coming right out with it? Do you think 1. I'm assuming the 1 year thing in this post is for people a few years out of college. I would sit down and tell him honestly what you are thinking. Tell him that you know people change, and without his commitment you are worried that he might change his mind after grad school.
See what he says. Tell him that if you are both still single after he graduates grad school you'd love to discuss getting married, but that you aren't willing to invest the next years with him if he isn't willing to propose. A compromise might be that he proposes now, and then you can get married after he graduates. If you've been with him for three years, don't you feel like you know him at all?
Is he really the kind of person who would suddenly ditch you? I think if you worry too much about things without any good reason to worry about them, you may end up getting what you 'expect' to happen - i. You don't know what is in the future. If marriage is all that counts, time to go your separate ways. If being with someone you enjoy being with is more important. The worst mistake ever is pressuring someone into marriage.
It happened to me, I got married because he really wanted to, and I didn't want to break up. It ended in disaster.