Without these burdens, and knowing there will be ample opportunity in the near future to explore the antics of the upcoming legislative session, I hereby offer a different perspective:. Laugh at the culture but never the doctrines. Utah's peculiar society demands mockery.
Only the most strait-laced Mormon cannot chuckle at the idiosyncrasies in this community. But the LDS Church does not have a monopoly on unique beliefs. All faiths possess some unusual doctrines and practices i. Evangelicals, Catholics, Orthodox anything. I possess some experience in this area. By the age of 21 I had been a bartender and private club cardholder for several years the miracle of a fake ID. Indeed, it is difficult for me to reflect on my college and law school years because the memories remain in a fog. While some tweaks to restrictions on liquor consumption are needed, I do not understand all the whining and moaning.
There are no dry counties. The prohibition against hard liquor in supermarkets has guaranteed that Utah wine stores are well-stocked with quality and a diversity of products. Further, I serve as living proof sorry for the pun that one can get a drink in Utah.
Mormons believe they live in a guilt-ridden society. Actually, they are rank amateurs when compared to Irish Catholics and Jewish mothers. Because of their history, Mormons hope to be a tolerant and understanding people. This provides opportunities of fun and mischief for those of us who are experienced players, and victims, of the guilt game. By using the right tone and demeanor "I guess because I'm not of the faith, you're unwilling to understand my position" , you can drive almost any LDS member into despondency and some acquiescence to your request.
Nothing sows confusion and grudging admiration more than a heathen reciting from the Book of Mormon or LDS authority. When pleading for Democratic causes, I always rely on the wise words of those ancient liberals Alma and King Benjamin. When Republicans get really outrageous, I recall Joseph Smith 's phrase "unrighteous dominion. Fortunately, this is rather easy since the LDS Church has been led by very ecumenical men in modern times. Comments about how "cool" President Gordon B. Hinckley is for appearing on " Larry King Live" and "60 Minutes" go a long way.
Oftentimes, Mormons will respond to me with praise for the pope a guy with whom I do have issues. Understand the "Utah Way. When one openly attacks or challenges native Utahns, they rarely respond with direct confrontation.
To Mormons, With Love from Your Non-LDS Neighbor
You will either be greeted with smiles and expressions of friendship, or completely ignored, while your opponent is thinking of various ways to stick it to you. I do not care much for this wimpy passive-aggressive behavior, but it is how business is done in our community. Play to your strengths.
If you are a non-member, I can also imagine that this could seem very intimidating as well as strange. Perhaps, I am defensive of Utah because I do place a great weight on all the outdoor activities and scenic beauty that this state offers. Also, being married with a family things like dating and partying are certainly not major issues to me. I do find it a bit amusing how many outsiders bring up the liquor laws as a starting point for complaints about Utah. They are different than many states. Yet, I am surprised at the importance some seem to attach to this. Is it really this important?
Not having been in the "dating scene" for years, I can't speak to many of Janey's points other than one. She describes a certain "mountain man type" single male. I would bet this is not unique to Utah at all. I would bet that there are a large number of men in this category in most of the Western states because outdoor recreation is the reason they came here. Intellectual men do exist here. I think I read that the average age for marriage here is 2 or more years younger than the national average. I know despite all the good things some of us say about Utah that is not for everyone.
If the pros don't outweigh the cons as a reason to live here than I would not stay.
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Life is too short to be in a place that makes you unhappy. I hope no one takes this as a "Utah love it, or leave it" statement. Many of us long time residents would prefer a more diverse and friendly community. However, the reality is that the LDS Church isn't going to vanish. Nor, are its members going to experience any instant change in attitudes. I wish you and others who are less than happy here peace and happiness with decisions either to move or stay put. Janey I read your post with great interest - thanks for taking the time to write it. I feel that we board regulars sometimes can act oblivious to how it really is in Utah, just because we have had great experiences with Utah; in turn, we resort to tooting our horns about it when someone posts something negative.
It seems as if Utah is the farthest thing from one size fits all: Not a lot of gray area in between. Myself, I've been living in Utah most of my life all of my memories consist of this place and find it a wonderful, wonderful place. But this is just further proof that depending on who you are, where you move, or perhaps even how you do on the crap shoot of moving to another state, results may vary.
Thanks to all for your comments I wanted to quickly respond to a couple of things markg said. Yes, I am not a fan of the liquor laws. However, it isn't because alcohol is important to me. It has more to do with what these laws seem to stand for. Without going into how strange some of them are, I will just say that in general the laws seem to pressure people into adapting certain ways of life, such as not drinking or smoking.
I don't know what these quirky laws really mean, but I think it would be fairly easy for people to conclude that it is an indirect way of imposing certain beliefs on the greater population. Again, just my opinion here And about the "mountain man" I think that you are absolutely right. I don't think that the "mountain man" is unique to Utah at all. I was just saying that there are many of them here who are single and they aren't really my type, so dating hasn't been easy.
And yes, intellectual men certainly exist here too, but I don't think that they make up the bulk of single non-LDS men over thirty in Utah.
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Utah is an amazing place and I will call it home for a while longer. However, I don't see myself staying here long term. Perhaps another year or two Originally Posted by JaneyBlu. Utah is a microcosm…and to live here means being exposed to that culture. It is much more covert than it is overt…but it is there and I am thrilled that there are non-Mormons out there who live in Utah and never experience it or notice it. It is also friendly, laid back and very clean…all great traits that are tough to find elsewhere. Dating from an older perspective is just as bad. While I'm sure that's not all the types of men in UT, it's all I met when looking for dates.
So I gave up! Perhaps I'm fairly biased, I'm a member of the flock, born and raised here, but have also lived elsewhere throughout the country and have just returned to Utah after about 15 years of living outside of Utah most recently in Austin, TX. With that being said, I think the culture is what it is. The Mormon influence in Utah is undeniable, but Utah was founded by Mormons, and was and continues to be governed by Mormons, for better or for worse. The culture that exists here is a result of a major denomination being in control of the state religiously, culturally, legislatively, artistically, etc It's likely not going away.
To Mormons, With Love from Your Non-LDS Neighbor | LDS Living
I'm not sure I'd go as far as to say that the culture is akin to covert racisim as the OP implied, however, I can understand and appreciate the difficulties that one must face here when not part of the dominant culture. However, those regional cultural differences exist across the nation. While I don't want to minimize the cultural oddity here in Utah, I do think that it's like any other area in the world that has a dominant culture. And one's experience in that culture is colored by their ability to understand the cultural differences and adapt to them.
Finding a good social support network and focusing on the positive things of the culture can go a long way to making an experience a positive one vs. Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U. Posting Quick Reply - Please Wait. User-defined colors Preset color patterns. Based on data. Utah county the best? View detailed profiles of: Salt Lake City, Utah. View detailed profile Advanced or search site with. Page 1 of The other side of the mountain 2, posts, read 5,, times Reputation: Castle Rock, Co 1, posts, read 2,, times Reputation: East Millcreek posts, read 1,, times Reputation: Originally Posted by JaneyBlu Hi everyone.