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Yet another potential internet date, the latest in a long line who failed to live up to expectations — or, in this case, turn up at all.


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Online dating for older people sounds such a good idea, and ever more of us are signing up in the hope of meeting a wonderful new partner. The older you get, the more difficult it becomes to meet new people in the conventional way — at work, parties or through friends.

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Once you are retired, widowed or divorced, it feels all but impossible. Yet on internet sites, there are dozens, hundreds, possibly even thousands of single people seemingly just like you, all looking for that special person to alleviate their loneliness and provide excitement and companionship for their later years.

Nowadays, age is no barrier and even people in their 80s are trying to find new partners online. Henning Wiechers, who conducted the recent survey on behalf of Metaflake, the vast German online dating agency, claimed that when people are too old to go clubbing, they need to access a second marriage market — and that the internet provides the perfect forum. After my partner died, I thought to myself: According to a new survey, the lucrative online dating industry is growing fastest in the plus age group. I put up my profile and waited for the responses to pour in at the same time as combing the sites — from the ubquitous eHarmony to overfifties.

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Disappointment soon set in. In most cases, the photos were an instant turn-off, as they all seemed to be bald and have white beards as well as inane grins and bad teeth. I soon learned this was online dating-speak for hugely overweight.

Online Dating Guide For Women (How to Land a Quality Man Online)

None seemed to have any of the extra pounds that actually counted, namely money. Most had long lists of hobbies and although almost all pronounced themselves witty and with a good sense of humour, there was nothing remotely amusing about anything they said. Yet they were very exacting in their requirements for a new partner; they all wanted somebody slim, elegant, solvent — and younger than themselves. A few sounded kinky — to be avoided at all costs. But some might be better than they sounded, I thought, so, lowering my standards, I took the plunge and sent a few messages. Only two did I actually meet.

One, a professor of architecture, sounded promising, and we met in a pub outside Oxford.

It was hopeless from the start. At 63 he had a teenage son, plus he was paying maintenance for two other children from an earlier relationship. We had nothing whatever in common, and I fled as soon as decently possible. But for the internet, we would never have come together, and he taught me another truth — that as well as enabling you to find your soulmate, the internet also gives you a chance to meet somebody who is the exact opposite of what you are seeking in a partner.

With the other one, I did what online daters are advised never to do, and met him at his home, thinking that he was unlikely to be a serial rapist. His internet profile said he lived in an idyllic cottage with a log fire and that he was positive, creative, practical and content, except for that special person in his life. He said he was a writer, so that was clearly, for me at least, a major plus.

What he was really after was a nurse or housekeeper. The idyllic cottage was monstrously untidy, littered with papers, dusty and dirty and he was fusty and not very clean either. Then, miraculously, I found somebody who sounded just right, a film producer with several well-known films to his credit. Our profiles seemed to be a good match — with many sites, you are given a compatibility rating, and this one was more than 80 per cent. I contacted him and we had several lively and interesting telephone conversations, but when it came to meeting, he was evasive.

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