I hear what LM says and I agree, we can be a bit wishy washy. That guy who makes me dizzy with his kiss and I find everything about him so deliciously appealing. Unfortunately these guys usually break my heart! But I still want the romance and the butterflies and the passion, at least in the beginning when the relationship is so new.
I get it, Tommy. I used to watch people in love and be so envious. And there are tons of fabulous women looking for love from a nice man. And btw, Lance, who wrote this, is now in love with a wonderful woman. Best to you.
The Surprising Truth About Dating Over 50 – My Interview with a Dating Coach
Let me know if LM breaks up with his current flame because I find him attractive and his ability to communicate is attractive too. I agree that both sides are encountering the same issues. For me the friendly approach LM is describing would be perfect, would give you both the time to get to know the true person and make your relationship decisions based on those discoveries. Communication and mutual activities — a walk, coffee, will show both if they wish it to go further. It worked for him, Linda! I was one of these wishy-washy women for a long time- forcing myself to accept 2nd and 3rd dates or more- yikes!
L- I agree with you whole heartedly. Yet I feel no spark. I do need to feel some spark and I do need a guy who can make me laugh. And I think a lot of women feel that too. HI HW. No no — no fixing needed. Because all the crap we learned as youngsters embedded some pretty useless criteria in our brains.
Hope you consider taking my next course: Fix Your Man Picker. Thanks for sharing. The nice guys are covering up they are secretly angry at the core, I found — at least with my ex. I thought we had a really harmonious relationship, but he was just avoiding conflict and sucking up until he left and displayed a lot of disgruntled negativity, having expected some ideal that was unrealistic, and took a pretty self-centered and not very mature view of things.
He admitted he was too thin-skinned — it made it hard to speak up because he was too touchy to take a balanced perspective of both our viewpoints. To paint all nice men with this brush is making a grand assumption. Some nice men are just nice. And that can co-exist with strong, courageous, steady, committed…many other things. I experienced the same as Nancy.
Also dated several men in their fifties never getting over the ex wife.
Before you continue...
Most of the men are highly dysfunctional and undateable in the over fifties age group. Hi Gab. I dated for 30 years and now watch other women date — all ages and all over the world. Not necessarily, especially when kids are involved. But are they ready to love again? And statistics bear this out, btw. I hope you can start seeing these terrific men around you.
Please keep your eyes open for it. It sounds like it would be great help for you and SO many other women here.
Thanks for your comment, Gab! Actually Bobbi, I think she pretty much nailed it. There is a lot of passive aggressive, calm on the surface, deep-seated damaged guys out there. It really is immaterial why they arfe damaged. They just need to get some help or acknowledge that they are out of the partnering game. LM is not a bad person, but his desire for a woman is bland, to say the least. I understand the need to start slow and develop, but a rigid timetable picnic on Sunday?
What is he passionate about? What are his real interests? Is he materialistic? Does he want to enhance his image or just simply fill up his lonely times? I have never been attracted to bland men, bland goals or bland relationships. That is probably why my life is more up-and-down than that of most women.
Nothing wrong with LM; he is just not for me. Wow, Rose. You read an awful lot into a very tiny little bit about a man. I happen to know him personally and he is far from what you are saying. That said, me may still be boring for you. You are a Wow-Me woman, dear Rose. And, yes, this probably is why your life is more up-and-down than that of most women. If not, can you perhaps open your heart and mind?
I think at our ages it is hard to trust.. In order to get it broken one must be receptive to begin with. My thoughts on some women playing those silly games are because they havent dated in years and pick up from the days of high school cat and mouse.. We are to old to be playing those teenager games.
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A man texts you text him back if your really interested if not tell him so he can move on. Its not fair when they do that to us.. Be honest with what you want and be open to receive. Dating at 50 is hard be respectful towards yourself and he will see that you are woman of value. Marguerite, I think the girlfriend stage really needs to come first. No one should jump right into the deep type of partnership we all want. In my opinion being a girlfriend for at least six months maybe a year is what I want also, so that we can get to know one another before we make it a forever thing with commitment.
I DO think LM is hot! Just for what he thinks and says. I met a guy who wanted to text incessantly — he was funny and intelligent in his messages so I continued too — but every time I suggested meeting, he just had something to do that weekend. Oh for a man who wants to meet me perhaps once a week or a fortnight, make some plans together, give me space to do my own thing, and who will let a friendship develop before the L word is spoken… Ah!
Well, LM should know that women have the same problem that he does…. What women want is not infatuation. But this is very hard to men. If she seems open, fun, spirited, compatible in some ways…he will likely want a next date. You can sign up in the upper right of my blog page. Great comment.
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I think LM is probably an awesome guy. Agree Maggie! I cannot count the number of guys I encounter in their 50s just out for a roll in the sack. The first thing I am told is the size of their package. I want a man I can talk to that cares about me, that we have a life outside the bedroom.
This study isn’t an anomaly.
I definitely want someone healthy enough for sex, but I want more than just sex. Hi Paula, I have to say that this is uncommon. Are you taking care to try to meet grownup guys? Are you being clear about what you are looking for?
Again, I talked about this is Session 4. Are you sending any signals that you might be game?
What Men in Their 50s Are Attracted To
Simply putting up with over-the-top flirting, double entendre, etc. Hope this helps! This happened to me over the last 3 or 4 months. I worked hard a discouraging it in a man that seemed poker hot interested. Eventually he wore me down and I started to reciprocate.
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