How Far is Too Far? (C~D~S.com Exclusive)
I am referring to a kiss on the lips for a longer duration of time. There is nothing wrong with this. Unless, of course, the arms get involved. If you hug and press each other close for an extended period of time while kissing, then the risk of exciting passions increases, starting with the temptation to open the mouth and move on to the next kind of kiss.
We agree it's not wrong, per se, nor immoral. However, there is symbolism to this action that needs to be considered. The prolonged kiss on the lips is a gesture that represents something more or at least it should. It represents a willing offering of the heart. Particularly for a woman, a kiss represents the invitation to pursue her heart further.
Men should greatly respect this aspect of a women. And a good man is going to feel the same way.
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The alternative is the risk of heartbreak on either side, men as well as women. If there was kissing involved in a relationship that ends, no matter how brief, there is more given away than just the lips. In that kiss is given the affection that is rooted in the heart. Every young girl dreams of her first kiss.
Why Do People Kiss?
Boys typically do not. They simply want to kiss a girl. Girls want to fall in love. The kiss is a symbol of that possibility. Boys just want to kiss for the pleasure of it. Girls want it to be so much more than that. And they have the power to inspire boys to feel that way too. In that respect, a woman can lead a man in chastity.
But a man who has this sensibility and lives it in his dating life inspires the heart of a woman. Saving your kiss for your future spouse may be difficult if not impossible for the modern world to practice, but it is wise to try and do.
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Kissing is definitely a precursor. Preserving your kiss also helps preserve your virginity for your future spouse. It means those who just want sex from you will flee pretty quickly. You are worth the wait. The physical action of kissing is the first line of defense, and to express a physical kiss is to challenge the guards. Once past this guard, other physical allowances will then be challenged and succumbed to.
Let this external expression happen and the interior will is weakened. The more you do it, the weaker your will.
It is folly to assume that purity can be maintained with passionate kissing. Perhaps there are rare people who have such strong self control that they can kiss deeply and stop there. But most of us cannot.
There really is no place for this kind of kissing among two practicing, unmarried Christians. It is too dangerous, and our call to chastity requires we guard against stirring the passions.
Kissing the neck?
I suggest focusing on the principle of kissing. So far, these kiss scientists haven't conclusively explained how human smooching originated, but they've come up with a few theories, and they've mapped out how our biology is affected by a passionate lip-lock. A big question is whether kissing is learned or instinctual.
Some say it is a learned behavior, dating back to the days of our early human ancestors. Back then, mothers may have chewed food and passed it from their mouths into those of their toothless infants. Even after babies cut their teeth, mothers would continue to press their lips against their toddlers' cheeks to comfort them. Supporting the idea that kissing is learned rather than instinctual is the fact that not all humans kiss. Certain tribes around the world just don't make out, anthropologists say.
While 90 percent of humans actually do kiss, 10 percent have no idea what they're missing. Others believe kissing is indeed an instinctive behavior, and cite animals' kissing-like behaviors as proof. While most animals rub noses with each other as a gesture of affection, others like to pucker up just like humans. Bonobos, for example, make up tons of excuses to swap some spit.
They do it to make up after fights, to comfort each other, to develop social bonds, and sometimes for no clear reason at all — just like us. Today, the most widely accepted theory of kissing is that humans do it because it helps us sniff out a quality mate.