Using a matchmaking service

Traditional matchmakers with an online presence such as Samantha's Table or Janis Spindel usually cater to high-end clients.

When Dating Felt Like A Job, One Woman Hired A Matchmaker : NPR

These services involve an application or interview process, and then the matchmaker will look through her database to find people you are likely to hit it off with. When you sign up for a matchmaker service, you will go through a series of steps to find your ideal match. Knowing what to expect can help you make your choice. After the matchmaker has gone through the data that you have provided, you will be sent matches, either to a website that you can sign into or via e-mail, depending on the service.

You can either accept or decline the match. If you decline the match, expect to explain why you are declining, so the matchmaker can give you better picks in the future.

What Makes Us Click

Before you can assess whether a matchmaker is right for you, you have to find one. Locating a matchmaker in your city is straightforward as many professional matchmakers are technologically savvy.


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The right matchmaker will even do a better job at finding highly compatible dates than you would on your own. While most matchmakers pull candidates from a database of local matches, some, like VIDA , specialize in wider searches. Generally, the wider the net your matchmaker casts, the more the matchmaking services cost. Some matchmakers specialize in specific demographics, so if shared faith is a must, for example, you might consider a Jewish or Christian matchmaking service.

When it comes to outsourcing the search for your ideal partner, you have a lot of options. Your matchmaker pre-screens every potential candidate against the criteria you provided for your ideal match, and then generates interest in you. Typically, a personal matchmaking service goes beyond simply introducing you to eligible singles.

When Dating Felt Like A Job, One Woman Hired A Matchmaker

Some matchmakers charge extra for these services, others bundle them into your package price. Having a relationship expert on speed dial is often huge.


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Recent research indicates that online dating algorithms rely too heavily on traits and qualities that very are difficult to quantify. Some executive matchmaking services may only have a tiny selection of available candidates at any one time, which means your search for The One could take awhile.

They even seem to revel in wearing mics and having a photographer with them in the dark, lively restaurant. As conversation flows, they become less conscious of the microphones and flashing camera and focused on each other, bonding over having been in military families and about dating. The chemistry was clear.

Pros of Matchmaking

They talked so long, they closed out the restaurant — after they split an ice cream sundae. Kevin Biely and Kat McClain meet for the first time. Literally just a couple of days ago we had the 'define-the-relationship' conversation," McClain says. They've agreed to exclusively date each other. On their first date, the chemistry was clear. McClain says even though her Three Day Rule experience made it possible, none of the rules — like the one referenced in the service's name — seem to matter anymore.

Are The "Best Matchmakers for Men" Worth Your Money? 5 Reasons You Should Strongly Reconsider

Working with a matchmaker helped her go into dates with more confidence, McClain says. And I don't regret any of the minutes I've spent in therapy, either. So is paying for a service like Three Day Rule the key to finding a relationship?

The secret behind a matchmaking service's 95% success rate

Even Geistman says no. McClain agrees that not everyone needs to pay for a matchmaker but is confident she wouldn't have met Biely without Geistman's help. She also says looking for love online on your own can work, as long you hone your skills in communicating what you really want on dating apps. It's really important that you take it seriously and that you tailor your profile such that it is attractive to the kind of people you are looking for, and such that it reflects what it is you want.

Laura Roman contributed to this story and adapted it for the Web.