Straight girl dating mtf

Being trans should not be the deciding factor and all elements relating to sex and what you are comfortable with should be discussed with your partner beforehand. I talk about sex in this comment, because someone having a penis should not affect be a deciding factor at all in other aspects of the relationships.

A very please in future consider the feelings of woman who has the penis, because she could also be quite uncomfortable with it. Luckily I got over it quickly and since then I have become a fierce ass ally since then. I mean, the subject of this post is extremely relevant to my interests right now, but most of it does sound obvious to me.

I know for me it was random shit that came up that triggered my transmisogyny. Luckily I found my fears were totally unwarranted. All those little details just added to her — like soft shoulders that just continued on an inch further. Oh man, Shell and I have been together 7 years now, together through transition, and even having known her when she was still presenting male I STILL sometimes make stupid assumptions about shared experiences sometimes. Cis is a term that is used to connote privelege. First of all, there are many bio female people who do not conform to gender stereotypes.

My own spouse gets questioning looks and comments all the time when she enters a public restroom. Because she has short hair and wears jeans and comfortable shoes. Females are systemically raped in war because of their sex, not their gender. Females are oppressed and controlled by their reproductive capacity. Having a uteris is downright dangerous for women in many societies.

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Women die from fistulas, are forced into prostitution, and other atrocities around the world, because of their SEX, not their gender. Cis is a made up term that effectively denies female reality, and places gender at the center of the universe. There are numerous resources online that explain cisgender privilege such as http: You are presenting a false dichotomy. Nobody is denying the issues faced by people with uteri. Many trans women and the cis women who love them are vocal supporters of the right to choose and fight to end rape culture. Trans acceptance simply means understanding that not all women have uteri which is true for cis women as well , and that not all people with uteri are men.

Trans men also deserve the right to choose, trans men also die from fistulas. There are a wide range of experiences among women. Recognizing that there is more than one way to be a woman does not obstruct the cause of feminism. All terms are made up.

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They still hold meaning. Incredibly well written response, I wish I could present the issues as well. Until then I guess I am stuck with being a smart ass. Welcome to queer theory. And most of the dating pool is cis! And yes, they do get hurt and upset and angry when gay cis dudes — not just, you know, one gay guy, but every single one they meet — dismiss their identity and refuse to even consider them as possible sexual partners.

No one is demanding that anyone sleep with them. Savannah is very politely! As a mostly gay trans dude why do I love this website so much? Actual thing that a gay cis man has said to me: Well, good for you, well-meaning cis dude. But that comment still resulted in me having to leave the room for a bit to freak out over the sudden certainty that no one was ever going to simultaneously find me attractive and also consider me a man.

Cissexism is everywhere, even trans women have to unlearn it.

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Just as all women have to unlearn misogyny. Someone who has a masculine gender presentation but identifies as a woman and was declared a woman at birth can be cisgendered my partner falls into this category, for example but such a person might also identify somewhere on the trans masculine spectrum.

Also, the idea that because we live in sexist society that women you imply this only includes cis women do not experience any privilege is ricidulous. All different kinds of women experience privilege based on a multitude of other factors—sexual orientation, race, class, ability, and also—whether they are cis or transgender.

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  7. Also check out this cisgender privilege list: According to this model, men unilaterally oppress women, and thus they reap all of the benefits, while women bear all of the hardships. This, however, is a gross oversimplification of sexism for a numerous reasons. First, the concept of unilateral sexism denies other important factors, such as racism, classism, ableism, etc, that contribute to discrimination.

    Second, it ignores oppositional sexism, which favors those with typical gender inclinations over those with exceptional ones, regardless of sex. For example, if you happen to be attracted to men, then your life will certainly be easier in many respects if you happen to be female rather than male. And if you happen to be feminine, you will surely be less marginalized for your gender expression if you are a woman rather than a man.

    While some cissexual women assume that men have a monopoly on gender privilege, this is not the case. Many trans men have written at length about both the male privileges they gained post-transition, as well as the numerous ways their lives became more difficult, complex, or even dangerous once they were regularly perceived as male. These perspectives, which all come from people who were born and socialized as female, help demonstrate how oppositional sexism ensures that both maleness and femaleness come with their own very different sets of privileges, restrictions, expectations and assumptions.

    There are still a lot of solid points in Whipping Girl, moreso than I feel like both narratives are false as well as oppressive — while also accounting only for gender self-perception in the white west — we have no gendered self before we gender other people and the act of gendering other people, that is, deciding the degree of authenticity their gender presentation has without their permission without, e.

    She just explains any time you talk about privilege you have to talk about intentionality. Here is a quote from an article she wrote:. In my book Whipping Girl, I discuss my own experience with male privilege—and losing it post-transition—at great length. I am white -passing? I personally loved Whipping Girl, and really liked that it had a different take on privilege than most academic work. However, it is much more complicated than many people appreciate.

    Getting With Girls Like Us: A Radical Guide to Dating Trans* Women for Cis Women | Autostraddle

    Serano picks up on a lot of aspects of privilege that are often overlooked — for example, that people often react very negatively to traditional femininity in men and anyone read as male — for an overtly feminine man, his sex, in combination with his behavior, puts him at high risk of harassment, even violence. Privilege is very complex, and I think she captures that fact better than most. I, as a middle-class white woman, am in a very privileged position relative to a poor, uneducated Black man living in the ghetto. Talk to a butch lesbian- an adult, not a teenager or someone in her early twenties- about the misogyny she has been dealing with every day for decades for being unfeminine.

    Smits, you are so right. As butch dykes, we are the targets of huge heaping helpings of misogyny, because we are not the dollies straight males require for their viewing pleasure. Being masculine-of-center does not garner us any privilege. On the contrary,we are hated for being perceived as not-quite-female, but not-quite-male. They refer to stereotypes that are particularly harmful to women. I have a general question about an issue that was briefly raised and I apologise if it is hijacking or taking the discussion away from the main issues.

    I am genuinely curious. Amy and all of you beautiful women identifying people have sooooo much more patience than me in dealing with this because I feel worn out just reading this comment thread. Again I want to say that you are doing great work here in educating and I just wish one day this would happen less.

    Shelby did I see you in the Chicagostraddlers group and do you believe in gluten free rage baking because if you do we should bake together sometime because you seem neat. I am very aware of these kinds of threads being hijacked by trans men issues when it is a trans women focused article. This is a really good example of acknowledging where you went wrong, apologizing, and moving on without getting defensive.

    I noticed no one had to bake their asses off to handle it when some of those same people posted earlier on this thread on the same issue the menzzzzzzz that later had ovens turning on around the world:. Despite this, she has the courtesy to apologize again and posts a rational and appropriate post that clearly shows maturity and intelligence yet gets a response so condescending that of all the comments about wanting to hurl, that one did it for me. I have seen editors step in way, way, earlier and for far less on other posts when comments get to this point.

    But this thread left unchecked did not do it any favors. I want to gay marry this idea so hard. I loved that Mon discussed that and the way everyone spoke about it eventually.

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    8. The ability to see a problem, discuss it and correct it is a wonderful thing. I apologize to Mon, because I was far more for Rage Baking, than angry at the comment that inspired what I thought was a hilarious image in my head.

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      I do the same thing too not being so defensive, correct myself all that jazz when I mess up and feel like the response was too much. Again I like thank those in this community who have more patience than me trust I am working on it: D to educate those while being respectful. I seriously want to give all these people my rage bake cookies, they came out great! The discussion you were interested in is actually a super interesting and odder part of some deep trans community dynamics.

      I know Imogen Binnie often has interesting things to say about this type of stuff and Natalie Reed and those she references and links to probably serve as another good jumping off point to explore writings by trans women. Just FTR- I thought this was a perfectly acceptable question and did not deserve the brush-off that it received. Any words I should avoid? Not everyone with a penis likes erections or likes to penetrate.

      Do you like this? Show me how you like to be touched. We may also still be going through hormonal changes, which can completely change sexual response in unanticipated ways. In those situations, experimentation and communication is the key! Along with overt displays of support and validation. Thank you for the additional info, Amy. You are amazing and strong and incredible! It is a difficult world to maneuver in when not everyone is exactly like what we expect.