First message for online dating sites

Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails. The words if you can call them that ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, realy, luv, and wat, are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message. Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence or maybe just good grammar is an attractive trait in both sexes. Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use.

Online dating: first message tips and tricks | EliteSingles

Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner. But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring. So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move.

You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy. While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness. Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests.

For more advice, please see our Staying Safe guide.

Exactly What To Say In A First Message

How long should I wait before asking to meet in person? The aim of all this chatting is, of course, to find someone with whom you can go on an offline date - perhaps kick starting a relationship with real, long-term potential. However, for your own peace of mind and sense of comfort, it's usually wise to wait a while before suggesting that you meet in person.

How long should you wait? As discussed in our online dating tips article , researchers at the University of Florida recently hypothesised that the ideal period between first message and first meeting is 17 days.

Answer their questions

Ready to put your new first message skills to good use? Join EliteSingles today to meet your matches and get communicating! Just click here to register.

If you have any questions about online messaging, please leave a comment below or write to us at editorial elitesingles. How Open Are Your Ears? When should you meet in person? She loves books, travelling, and discovering new date ideas. You can follow her on Twitter or on Google Plus. DO run a spell check before you hit send Msgs wit por spelin r relly hard 2 reed. DO stay on the sunny side!

Frequently asked chat questions What should my message say?

Seven steps to write your perfect online dating message

Leave this field empty. Hi there, how are you? How are you doing today? Hi, any fun plans for the weekend? Saw your profile and just had to say hi.

Start with a joke Just, please, not the dirty one! Start with a question to break the ice Discovering what you have in common right away is a good way to start a conversation.


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