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He might, or might not, live across the country. He might, or might not, use a dating site, a dating company, have, or not have, a personal ad somewhere.
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- Are there websites to meet other HIV positive people?.
Try to stay open. There are no support groups, no social activities with other positive people out here; there are no retreats that those of us who are low-income can afford. We as gay folk ignore our possible candidates for dating in this group. Sites like POZ Personals and options on dating apps have made it much easier to let an interested suitor know you status by reading your profile.
Many, many guys know nothing about HIV and fear positive individuals as one would fear someone who had contracted the Ebola virus. No matter how hot that guy looks, avoid an awkward, embarrassing or even violent situation by laying all your cards on the table at the appropriate time. The appropriate time is soon after meeting. Since then, I have not had so much as a second date with someone.
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Always the same result: They move on, and I need to find the strength to start looking again. Yet after 15 years, little hope remains of not dying alone—my greatest fear.
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Ironically, I have never had any medical issues. Just when others hear those three letters they make a fast exit. Yes, he had alcohol; yes, there is a history of anger management incidents. What is online is true —this condition does not improve, and the perpetrator of the violence never owns or acknowledges it. Learn more about the other person.
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Each of you is likely presenting a version of yourself that you believe the other is seeking. Gradually, the wall comes down, and each of you relaxes, letting your real self peek out. Allow time for that to happen.
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