Verified by Psychology Today. Why Bad Looks Good. We don't need a research study to explain to us why older men enjoy dating younger women. But what about the women? Stereotypes aside, many women cite maturity, wisdom , and financial stability as good reasons to date men who are older. But is there too much of a good thing? When women date and marry men old enough to be their fathers, it brings up the question of whether there should be an upper limit to an appropriate age gap. But regardless of the legitimacy of motive, both parties in men-older age gap relationships often have to overcome stigma and stereotype.
Societal expectations? And knowing nothing about the couple, why do people make snap judgments and attributions of ulterior motives? Brian Collisson and Luciana Ponce De Leon examined why couples in age gap relationships are subject to prejudice and negative stereotypes. In explaining the rationale behind perceiving that an older man in a relationship has the upper hand, Collisson and De Leon note that even labels used to describe partners in age-gap relationships imply relational inequity. Some adult women are assumed to be looking for an older man to financially support a comfortable lifestyle within which to raise children.
In other cases, women are alleged to have selected an older paramour to gain access to resources and connections in order to further their own career , business, or other aspirations. But contrary to stereotype, many age-gap couples do not display even the appearance of ulterior financial or professional motives. Many such couples are similar in every way except chronological age.
How do we explain how these couples got together? Could it be that in many cases, it is simply true love, or are there other reasons? Looking for ulterior motives to explain atypical pairings of mature men and much younger women, some have advanced theories about women seeking older men due to relational dynamics with their own fathers. Research in this area, accordingly, has sought to distinguish truth from fiction. Relational Attachment and Age. Sara Skentelbery and Darren Fowler investigated the attachment styles of heterosexual women who date older men.
They also recognize the commonly held belief that women who date men who are 10 or more years older have unhealthy relationships with their fathers.
The new rules for older men dating younger women
But is it true? According to their research, the answer is no. Further, Skentelbery and Fowler found no significant difference in attachment styles between women in similar-age relationships and women in age-gap relationships. In fact, they found that 74 percent of the women in age-gap relationships enjoyed a relationship within which they were securely attached.
The Sydney Morning Herald
Apparently many couples with age differences enjoy healthy, fulfilling, loving relationships. Having come together without ulterior motives or emotional childhood issues, many such pairings are strong, stable, and able to withstand societal scrutiny. We can safely assume that there will always be couples that seek to pair up for ulterior motives, perhaps in pursuit of a marriage of convenience.
But research also seems to suggest that, happily, true love is still alive and well. And it has everything to do with my dad not loving me. So, several men 10 - 20 years older than me got lucky and continue to get lucky as I really do love older men It's very, very true at least in my case about women like me having textbook daddy issues. I desperately needed my dad to love me. He was a raging alcoholic who ignored me and insulted me and died when i was I know, I'm a rarity. But it's true. I can't get enough of a man who is kind and fatherly to me.
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It's what rocks my emotional boat and therefore, everything else. Very sorry to hear about the way your father treated you. No kid deserves that.
Thanks for being honest about this. In a few sentences you said quite a bit. Where were you when I was looking for a girl like you and was in my 40s? Although I take issue with the first sentence: "We don't need a research study to explain to us why older men enjoy dating younger [wo]men.
Why Do Some Women Date Much Older Men? | Psychology Today
Why are younger women not only attracted to older men, but are also more likely to date them? This VIP status is extremely attractive to a younger woman. Back in our evolutionary past, men generally kicked the bucket in their twenties and thirties. If a man lived well into his sixties—well, he hit the genetic lottery and thus was deemed highly desirable. A twenty-something Bieber might have the luxury cars and wealth now, but is he able to sustain and maintain it like Clooney?
The former says fling while the latter says life partner. Older Men Look… Familiar Turns out the Elektra complex might have some validity behind why a younger woman chooses an older man for a partner. Interesting still, according to a study by Scottish psychologists, while younger, more financially independent women were attracted to older men, the men still had to be handsome no matter how much money they had. If our partner sees us as young and hot, we see ourselves as young and hot.
So if a woman believes her value decreases as she ages, she might be attracted to the older man who will see her as perpetually younger and, thus, more attractive.
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