It might even be too painful for her to be with anyone in the short term. So while she might be interested now, or six weeks from now, she could easily change her mind.
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This might be rational or irrational, likely or unlikely — but the fear just might linger. Here, as in most relationship challenges, sharing your concerns and discussing them openly will be essential. But it can also lead to some nasty residual fears. The quality of her character — what kind of person she is — should guide your feelings about her post-break-up. So given these risks, ask yourself this: That should be one of your guiding questions: Once again, your motivations will help you examine the ethical aspect of chasing a girl with a boyfriend. You should, however, think long and hard about the implications of inserting yourself into a toxic relationship and dating someone who would enter one.
But getting involved in a toxic relationship is also a bit like a quicksand pit. The harder you try to get her, the more enmeshed you become in her toxic relationship, which saps your energy and makes it harder for you to be a strong, healthy person. In the latter, you need to seriously consider your reasons for chasing her — and determine whether you both want to pursue this relationship.
If you feel that you must be with this person, and — this is essential — the feeling is clearly mutual that is, she feels about you the way you feel about her, and you both want to be together , then you can and should go for it. But ethically speaking, two self-aware adults choosing to be with each other despite any previous attachments is a reasonable ground upon which to build a relationship. But there also strong reasons not to pursue an attached woman. If a girl is in a relationship that makes her happy, why would you want to break it up? Again, we return to the question of motivation.
How to Get a Girl to Like You when She Has a Crush on Someone Else
There are excellent reasons to be friends with women, and — as we often say on the podcast — female friends are essential to a well-rounded social life. So consider the practical and ethical considerations here. We can only share the right questions to ask so you can make sound decisions for the long term.
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Your abundance mentality — the mindset that there are tons of women out there who you could start a relationship with — is going to help you maintain the perspective and attitude you need to get a girl with a boyfriend to fall in love with you. But your abundance mentality is part of a bigger picture. You need to put yourself first when wooing anyone, especially a girl who already has a boyfriend.
In practice, that means having time for her only when you actually have time for her. The best and most attractive thing you can offer her right now is your strength and independence from her situation. Running every time she says she needs you to erode that strength and independence. But you can always do a little more to deepen the connection you already have and push it toward romantic love. That, more than anything, will give her a compelling reason to be with you. One powerful way to be there for her while simultaneously creating attraction is to make her laugh.
You just have to show her a good time. At the same time, she might not be getting a lot of interest in her at home. One hallmark of bad relationships is that one or both parties start feeling unappreciated. She might have totally forgotten what it feels like to have a man want her. Think of it in terms of your chances of winning her back. Your chances of winning her back when you are needy, insecure and unattractive are very less compared to your chances of winning her back from a rebound if you are confident and a new better version of yourself.
If you act needy and desperate at this stage; you will confirm her belief that breaking up was the right decision and it will get even harder for you to get her back in the future. Her new relationship might be a rebound; but you must still respect it. You must set boundaries in the way you flirt with her.
This is a bad way to start a new relationship with a person you love. Instead, you must slowly develop an emotional and physical attraction with her. You want her to get confused about her feelings for you and her commitment to her new boyfriend.
Part 3: Healing During No Contact When she is dating someone else
You want her to realize that her feelings for you are much stronger than the other guy. This is how you make her decide to leave him for you. If she is serious about making her new relationship work, you will have to be very careful and very patient with this. Read this article on rebounds to find out if she is in a rebound. She wants her new relationship to work and is committed to her new guy. Convincing her to be with you is going to take a lot of patience and a lot of luck.
But if you think she is worth it; then you owe it to yourself to give it a try. Although, I highly recommend that you try only once; and if she does not respond positively; you leave her alone and move on. You are better off spending your time and energy focusing on yourself, moving on and attracting new girls. If you do things that make it super obvious you want her to breakup with her new boyfriend; it will make your ex-girlfriend put up her defenses and cut you out.
Instead, you need to just be the best version of yourself and focus on rebuilding attraction and connection with your ex girlfriend. As she starts feeling more and more attracted towards you, she will start feeling more and more distant from her new boyfriend. Getting her to meet you while she is still dating the other guy is going to be a big challenge. This is especially true if she is committed to the new relationship.
In most cases, her new relationship is going to be a rebound and she or her new boyfriend will eventually end it.
Hopefully, just getting back in touch with you and realizing she still has feelings for you should be enough for her to break up with her new boyfriend. Girls usually consider meeting an ex; without the knowledge of your boyfriend or girlfriend; a betrayal of trust. So, she is probably going to deny your invitation of meeting up, even if she has feelings for you and wants to meet up.
She simply wants to maintain her integrity in her own eyes. Of course, there are exceptions to the above rule, and if you think your ex-girlfriend is one, you can straight up ask her out on a coffee or to meet up for drinks. But if you think your ex-girlfriend holds herself to high standards; you might want to find a loophole for her dilemma. These are all great ways to give her an excuse to see you without making her feel like she is betraying her new boyfriend. If you have followed everything in this article, then your ex-girlfriend will probably dump her new boyfriend by herself.
But if she needs a little push, you must give her a strong reason to dump her new boyfriend for you. The best way to do that is if you can show her not tell her ; that everything will be different this time.
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You need to show her that you have really changed for the better and you are going to be this way whether or not you get her back. You want her to realize that you are a high-quality guy and the next girl you are going to be with is going to be very lucky. We have covered a lot of ground in this article. If you are still interested in more from me, I highly recommend you take this quiz and subscribe to the EBP Basics E-course. I share a lot of insights to my subscribers that are not posted on my website.