Usually I am busy with work, so devoting long hours to go into the forest for hikes is not always easy. I Don't mean to sound like a pessimist, but I think a 30 something single guy doesn't belong in Bend.
Welcome to Reddit,
I have not yet hit up the bar scene and loathe doing it. Portland offered a lot of activities and ways to meet people. I guess I didn't like city life, because of traffic, crime and lack of outdoor activies. However, I am starting to get cabin fever in Bend. The town looks a bit dead if your not a barmonger and finding any constructive activities seem challenging.
I guess not living in a small town in over 10 years, I was not sure what to expect. It was a bit of a culture shock. Walking into a large store, being the only one there and going to a coffeeshop and seeing the placed filled with highschoolers. Here it is older people or teenagers. Well, these are my observations. I think I will have a hard time connecting with people here. But, I am open to hear what others have to say.
Or , if there is like minded people who live in Bend ,well if you're interesting, then I be happy to meet you. Please nobody slam me for being a negative, self-hating, judgmental, xenophobic, etc kind of guy..
Central Oregon Dating Scene | greggwrites
I am not knocking yiou, Bend or the people here, I am just saying the experience I am having. I think your expectations for Bend were off. It is a city of 80, people so it is small by most city standards. Bend has a lot of retirees and tourism has been a huge industry which is why their economy is struggling right now. Why did you choose Bend to live since it sounds like you could live anywhere? You do realize that you are comparing Portland which has 1. I'm not surprised you are having a more difficult time than you had anticipated.
I think there is a strong social community for young conservative Christians but no so much for other people in your age group who aren't looking that or for the bar scene. Bend has lost some events that would have appealed to you, due to the economy, but there may be some concerts coming up around the holidays in Sunriver that you'd enjoy. We have good community theater and there are often good things offered at the Tower Theater.
The best way to meet people is to volunteer. Originally Posted by Yoni I appreciate the good responses people have posted. I wanted to move to Colorado Springs, but I work with my father remotely, and he is located in Oregon. For health insurance reasons and for the fact he didn't want me to move too far away, I stayed in Bend, hoping it would work. I thought Colorado Springs would have been ideal, but the cost of moving there would have meant me selling most of what I own and then my Father who I work with , would have been upset.
Bend has awesome scenery and the weather looked better, so I thought it would have been the best place I could move. I guess I didn't realize the lack of social scene until after I moved there.
Yeah, it bites, but I want to make the best of this. I was just sick and tired of the rain and Portland's super liberal vibe is cool for some, but wasn't my cup of tea. Not to say, I couldn't enjoy Portland, in some ways I do miss the city, but I wanted a change after all those years. I have lived on and off in Portland for years total and was there for years last time. I am planning on in a year or so going to Colorado Springs or maybe Denver, but I would like to try to make Bend work for now. I will check out the links that other users have posted and would appreciate any other ideas people may have.
As far as my outlook, if you have a great idea on how I can improve my situaiton, please feel free to share that, but I have a hard time having a great outlook as of now, but maybe after I am herre a while longer things will get better. As far as online dating, I was always afraid of meeting some stranger on the net.
THere is so many weird people on there and its hard to know if what they are writing is real.
Central Oregon Dating Scene
However, I can handle anything, it's just I feel weird meeting people online, I am more old fashioned and like to meet people face to face. On another note, Bend is quite small, I saw lot of online dating stuff for PDX area, but I am not aware of any online dating service in Bend. Finding a date, I know is a great challenge here, I guess I was just trying to find some friends first, maybe I can get connected that way. To Leiesturm, what is wrong with my id? It just a nickname I chose quickly.
Is there anyway to change my user id? Maybe I will need to reregister. Last edited by Yoni; at For your edification on the Sanskrit YOni is Hebrew name.. I am not Indian..
Its like the english equivalent of JOhnny.. Anyhow, because of the confusion this handle has invoked, I will go and reregister with a new name. I am not sure how to change my id here. Your personality profile sounds quite a bit like mine. Accordingly, I'll make some predictions that may or may not fit your situation: You probably find it easier to relate to women than to other men.
I'm not talking about romantic relationships here, just the ability to hold a sustained conversation with someone who seems to have similar interests. You value having fewer, deeper friendships over having a lot of friends. You fit the profile of a "late bloomer" in terms of social intelligence.
In high school you did well academically and weren't plagued by the angst of adolescence the way that some of your peers were, but you also didn't have the social facility they had. As a result, it is rather annoying that many if not most people in your age group are married You're somewhat of a fish-out-of-water in the bar scene and other overt meet-up venues.
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You feel largely invisible to others and the amount of ambient noise in such places seems like an impediment to your way of socializing. Very few people there are "your kind" anyway. You might spend an hour or less walking around in such a place and then leave, thinking, "why did I even bother?
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Being in a large metropolitan area isn't necessarily the answer, either. There may be a lot more people in your age group, but either they are already paired up or are self-sufficient in their current social cliques. In general it isn't easy to gain more than superficial acknowledgment from them.
If you attended a university, you may have experienced the same thing -- thousands of people your own age, yet you and they were just ships passing in the night, socially speaking. Despite the fact that coffee shops in Portland might be full of 20 and 30 somethings, it doesn't really increase your odds of social success.
You might get some superficial satisfaction in being around those people, but it isn't very likely that a "breakthrough" will result from simply being in that environment. People with type B personalities are often attracted to others with similarly reserved dispositions. That can result in a social standoff scenario as each person is waiting for social initiation from the other. It's also helpful to have a "facilitator" -- a third-party person who has a lot of natural social ease to help bring people together.
I would attend some organized group meetings More importantly, I would check out the COCC catalog for special interest classes you might be able to take. Also, don't feel too put-off by seemingly unsuccessful first contacts. In college, I finally got up the courage to introduce myself to a girl I admired.
She smiled and said, "nice to meet you" and then immediately made an excuse to depart and rejoin her comfort group.
It turned out that she had a boyfriend at the time, and I had a girlfriend the following two years. But after college several years later, we started going out. I was 33 when we got married.
- Singles Meetups in Bend!
- Want to add to the discussion??
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I think that you are partly correct in that Bend is more family oriented than it is a place for singles.