You Find Joy Healthy relationships are full of laughter and fun. You Find Balance Sometimes your partner needs to work longer hours while you play chauffeur and chief cook. Or you must devote time to an elderly parent while your spouse tackles the chores. What matters is that, in the long run, your trade-offs seem fair. You Treat Each Other With Kindness Nothing is more important than treating the person you love with care, consideration, empathy, and appreciation.
If you find yourself showing more respect to people you hardly know than you show your partner, take a step back and revisit your priorities. You Trust Each Other Healthy relationships are built on trust and a commitment to communication without reservations or secrets. Want to know how much you trust each other now?
Take this quiz from the University of California, Berkeley. You Let Things Go Your partner will annoy you. You will annoy him or her, too.
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You will behave inconsiderately. The important thing is how you deal with all this. So he forgot to pick up milk for the second time? There is no doubt, your marriage or partnership is THE most valuable part of your life. If it's not, it should be. It should come before your work, hobbies, extended family, and yes — even before your children. As a couple, you are the centerpiece of your family, and if the couple isn't strong, the family isn't strong.
Both partners MUST be committed to putting the relationship as their top life priority. This can't be just empty words. It has to be acknowledged between the two of you and demonstrated in your daily, even hourly, commitment to keeping the relationship healthy and thriving. You make it a habit to check in with each other every day or every few days to get a pulse on your connection. Both people feel safe and free to express concerns, disappointments, and frustrations, and both of you feel motivated to find resolution or seek compromise when necessary.
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You each express your feelings kindly and directly, without using passive aggressive behaviors, manipulation, or stonewalling. You don't hold things back or shove them under the rug to avoid confrontation. In fact, confrontation isn't part of your communication style. You are driven to get things back on track because of your love for each other and your deep value of the relationship itself. Emotional intimacy is the closeness you share together.
There’s not a single lull in your conversation
You feel free and secure to express your fears and vulnerabilities without being shamed or demeaned. You have a high level of trust, transparency, and openness between you based on your love for each other and the years of shared experiences. Emotionally intimate couples can share their deepest selves and are able to express the depth of their feelings for one another.
In this context, each person feels wholly accepted, respected, and worthy in the eyes of their partner. Emotional intimacy can be fostered by becoming more familiar with our own feelings, needs, fears, and desires. We must be self-aware in order to be intimate with another person. Emotional intimacy also requires we spend quality time together, away from daily stress and distractions.
Emotional intimacy is the foundation for a healthy sexual relationship, and the combination creates a deep bond between two people. When you have emotional intimacy, you are free to express what you desire sexually — and you are free to give fully to the other person. Sex is not just a physical pleasure or release but rather an expression of your deep love and closeness.
Emotional intimacy makes room for play, exploration, and complete safety in the bedroom. You can still have sexual experiences with each other that are primarily physical, but you can do so with the security of the deep emotional connection you share. You can't nurture the relationship without spending time together. This is more than just being in the same house together or spending time together with children.
Definitely not a fling typa thing.
You need to prioritize time for just the two of you. You need the space to enjoy each other's company, to share interests and experiences, and to simply have fun. Many relationships fall apart because the couple are basically living separate lives. Each person has their own interests and obligations, and they simply don't make time to be together. They allow the demands of life to fill their hours, and then over time, they realize they have nothing in common and very little to say to one another. If you don't share common interests, develop some that you can enjoy together.
Or step out of your comfort zone and engage in one of your partner's interests. Don't allow work, children, or other distractions to take precedence over this important time for the two of you. What words and tone of voice do you use with your spouse or partner?
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Do you sound detached, irritated, sarcastic, or demeaning? If you cherish this person, then speak to them in ways that reflect that. It's so easy to take the other person for granted and to lash out at them when we're feeling stressed or overwhelmed. If you do this enough, your words create deep wounds and undermine the intimacy of the relationship.
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Simply speak kindly to the person you love. Do so even if they speak unkindly to you. Your words have more power than you can possibly imagine. Non-sexual touch like hugging, holding hands, kissing, and cuddling is vital to a healthy relationship. Studies have shown that couples who enjoy regular physical affection tend to be happier and more satisfied with their relationship. They also recover more quickly from conflict.